You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
