if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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