He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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