If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
