I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
