Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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