coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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