I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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