It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We just shotgunned beers for America
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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