Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
