I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
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