I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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