I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
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I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
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Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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