Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
