I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
