And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
