I wanna bring you to show and tell
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
