I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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