oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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