PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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