Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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