Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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