I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
