If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
