Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize