i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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