I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
