He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
