Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
