I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
