You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
