I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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