in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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