Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
