She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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