i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
