I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Randomize
