ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
