Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
