If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
