32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
