I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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