you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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