Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
