For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
