Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
