you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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