I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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