I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
