Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
