Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
