i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
If its not for food we ain't going out.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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