Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
mondays should just be called national damage control day
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
