in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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