Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I sprained my soul last night
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
