playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
