i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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