the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
