i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
