It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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