Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
