I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
